


The Night We Met

by gabewrites



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: F/M, M/M, help him please, joseph does not have a firm grasp on his sexuality as a teenager
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 14:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12191328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabewrites/pseuds/gabewrites
Summary: Joseph Christiansen is the epitome of perfect. Clean-cut, well dressed, good future ahead of him. He knows what he wants- well, he knows what his parents want for him at least. It can't be that hard, can it?





	1. The Night We Met

**Author's Note:**

> This is a big project I've been working on and I hope someone at least enjoys it! I'm quite proud of it. Lots more to come, hopefully it won't take too long. (This is obviously an endgame roseph fic, there will be ansgt and all that jazz eventually. But first, have a happy chapter) I listened to "Lord Huron - The Night We Met" while writing this. I'm going to try to give a song at the beginning of each chapter to set the mood. This one isn't as good for the chapter but eh, I have good one's in mind for later. Enough with the rambling let's get this show on the road! -Arin

She was beautiful, or at least what Joseph was told beautiful was supposed to look like. She had long hair, wide eyes, modest clothing, and a cross necklace to put the cherry on top. She was perfect. Though Joseph's definition of perfect was based upon the checklist of things required for his parents’ approval. 

Needless to say, she checked all the boxes, so this must have been what love felt like. 

Joseph was always jealous when he saw couples, jealous of the boys for fitting in, but jealous of the girls too. He couldn't put a finger on why he would be, why he sometimes imagined himself in their spot with an arm slung across his shoulders, but it couldn't have been a good reason. So he shut up about it. 

His friends from bible study were happy while talking about their dates, how pretty they looked in a dress, how they couldn't wait to slow dance. The other boys already had dates to prom with girls they had their sights set on for years, but Joseph's parents always told him he would feel it when the right one came along. 

She was a girl, she was from a religious family, she looked at him fondly, and the butterflies in his stomach must have been that feeling his parents were talking about. He felt more sick to his stomach the closer he got to her, but this was the only chance he would have to ask. 

She was fumbling with something in her locker when Joseph finally worked up the nerve to stand next to her, his throat closing up a little when he went to get her attention. “Hey, hello- Mary, right?” Joseph twiddled his thumbs while he waited for Mary to look up at him. He felt nervous, was he supposed to be this nervous? 

Mary looked up from the mess she had been digging through in her locker, a quizzical look on her face. “Joseph, Christiansen, right? Your family practically runs the church.” She went back to searching, evidently not noticing that Joseph's heart was pounding in his chest as he hoped for acceptance and approval from her. 

Love felt like this right? The nervous jitters and the racing heart? It had to be that. 

Joseph carefully leaned on the locker next to hers, putting on an unconvincing smile that he was glad Mary wasn't focused on. “Yeah, that's me and-“ He stopped and took a breath trying to force his throat open. He needed to do this. “I was wondering if you would like to go to prom with me, if you don't have a date yet?” 

The question felt foreign to his mouth, which was dry when Mary looked up at him in complete silence for a few less than comfortable seconds. “Me? Go to prom with you?” Mary certainly looked shocked, and Joseph was too busy freaking out to figure out why. 

Joseph nodded in affirmation, not trusting himself to speak again. Mary shrugged and pulled a few loose papers out along with a folder. “Well, sailor, it's your lucky day, find my book in that mess and you've got yourself a date.” Joseph stood speechless for a moment before stepping in front of her locker and pulling out a book after a solid minute of searching. 

Mary smiled as she snatched the book from his hands and kicked her locker shut gracefully. With her folders and book in one hand, she used her other to blow a kiss in Joseph's direction, giggling when his face took a light pink tint. “I'll see you Saturday, Joseph.”

Joseph opened his mouth to speak but quickly snapped it shut again while he watched Mary walk away. He couldn't figure out why Mary was exaggerating the sway of her hips. At least his parents would stop bugging him now, and all his friends. 

So, huh, that’s what dating was like. Weird. 

At least Mary seemed cool. 

-xxxxx-

Of course, his parents were pleased. He played it up, told them all about how pretty she was, how excited he was to wear a suit and escort her to prom. Was he supposed to have to play it up? Probably. His parents liked it. They even promised to let him take the car to pick her up with no hesitation after meeting her. 

His mom had always been eager, pestering him about finding a nice girl to settle down with. She also liked to point out all the cute little grandchildren she expected when Joseph finished college. The thought left Joseph a little unsettled, especially when he hadn't spent much time thinking about Mary in that way. 

His father gave him a firm pat on the back and some congratulations, asking all about how it felt to finally find the woman of his dreams. It was overwhelming, trying to look at Mary as his one and only. They had interacted in the past, been in the same classes, he liked her. 

But to think about marrying her? To think about having kids with her? That was a lot. The thought of settling down with her made his stomach churn just a little. They would be more like- roommates. Joseph grinned at the thought of having a roommate like Mary, she was fun. 

The sound of car keys jangling in front of his face snapped him away from his thoughts for the future, his father standing tall, but with a soft smile Joseph hadn't seen in years. “Be careful with the car, Jo, and be back no later than midnight.” Joseph smoothed his tux nervously when he realized it was time to leave. 

Man, he wished he didn't feel like he was swimming in his clothes. He actually filled the suit out pretty well, he didn't look too bad, but his sleeves were a little too long and he caught himself stretching to keep his wrists at the edge of the fabric where they belonged. He took a deep breath before snatching the keys from his father's hand. 

“You treat that pretty lady right, Joseph, get her home safe.” Joseph smiled and nodded, staring at the pretty red flower corsage in his other hand. His mother shot him a knowing look, and it eased his nerves a bit. He hoped his eyes conveyed a silent thank you as he closed the door and headed towards the car. 

This was it, time to make a good impression.

The car sputtered to life as Joseph took off down the road, making the short drive to Mary's house. He wished it were longer. Before he knew it he was out of the car and at the front step, his heart beating out of his chest while his hand hovered in front of the door. He knocked firmly and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. 

Mary's father answered the door and gave him a quick once over before motioning him inside. Their house was cozy, warm colored, and it looked lived in. Mary's mom fiddled with a polaroid camera on the couch, but she looked up to wave at Joseph. “Mary! Joseph is here for you.” 

Joseph expected Mary to come down the stairs from her room, but instead he heard a noise from the kitchen that sounded like a muffled, “Coming!” before Mary shot into the living room. She had obviously just finished shoving food in her mouth. Joseph couldn’t help but laugh softly at how full her mouth was before she swallowed. “No one wants prom food, Joey.” Joseph visibly cringed at the nickname. 

Mary smiled as she cleaned up the edges of her lipstick with her finger, brushing some crumbs from her dress- a simple black one with nothing too fancy. “Your dress is…pretty.” It was pretty, really contrasted with her well done makeup. Joseph was suddenly glad he had gone with a red corsage on a whim, it would match well. 

Joseph realized he was probably supposed to be smoother than that, tell her she looked beautiful, but Mary just walked closer and held her wrist out, accepting the corsage. “Good man.” Mary gave him a pat on the shoulder and grabbed him by the hand, turning for the door.

“Mary, wait, let me get a picture or two before you go!” An ugly, yet endearing groan from Mary made Joseph giggle to himself as they turned back around. “Don't huff at me, missy, senior prom only happens once in your life.” Mary out on her best fake smile and Joseph's sputtering laughter finally erupted into the room.

Now Mary's lip was twitching, a real smile forming as she caught Joseph's contagious laughter staring over at him and forgetting about the old polaroid her mom was holding until the flash lit as she made a gross snorting sound and leaned against Joseph's shoulder. Sweet heaven above, that was probably an unflattering picture.

When they finally calmed themselves, Mary looked at him with a smile and the sound of another picture snapped. The first was already starting to gain color, and her mother was scrawling something on the white space at the bottom. “I know cameras are going digital, but I think these are better.”

Mary's mother smiled as she stared at the picture of the couple laughing together. Then she motioned Joseph over, handing him the photo as Mary stared at it over his shoulder. Mary looked hysterical in the photo, her hair sticking up just a little, and Joseph was doubled over a bit, leaning to the side with Mary on his shoulder.

The bottom had the simple description “PROM 1995” in her mother's graceful hand writing. He pocketed the photo after staring for a while with a smile. Maybe this was love, laughing together, feeling this happy. He patted his pocket and then took Mary's hand in his again. Her father gave him a telling look, but he still held a smile on his face after observing their photo.

“I'll have her back home safe; you can count on it.” Joseph shot a wink at the man and then immediately regretted it when her father tilted his head in confusion. “I- sorry, I really will have her home before midnight.” The man laughed and waved them off, a silent signal for them to leave and go have fun. 

While they walked out to the car they were silent, and Joseph focused on the way it felt to hold Mary's hand. It was soft, maybe she had put lotion on them. He didn't hold too tightly, but her hand felt small, and her fingernails were well manicured. It wasn't bad, Mary seemed happy, but Joseph felt awkward. 

He opened the passengers side for her first before walking to the other side to get in himself. A whiff of Mary's perfume hit his nose after the door latched shut, making him feel lightheaded for a moment. It wasn't dark and musky like the cologne a lot of guys filled locker rooms with. It was light and fruity. It made his nose tickle. 

“We heading out anytime soon, or are you gonna sit there, day dreaming?” Mary giggled when Joseph's face went red, giving him a pat on the shoulder. “I don't mind either way, you've got a pretty daydreaming face.” Joseph laughed nervously before finally jamming the key in and starting the car.

“Right, Prom.” Joseph nodded and focused on the road, taking a deep breath as they pulled out of Mary's driveway.

Mary stared at him as they drove off, a smile on her face. “Yes, Prom.” Mary turned on the radio, seeming comfortable with ending the conversation. 

-xxxxx-

They pulled into the parking lot a little late, considering that there were almost no free spots to park. Joseph was praying that no one hit off a mirror while leaving the crowded lot later tonight. Mary didn't seem concerned about that, hopping out and running to a few of her friends who were waiting for her by the door. 

He suddenly felt a lot more nervous when he realized that he hadn’t even told any friends that he would be here. What if Mary got bored with him and he had no one to hang out with? Joseph didn’t want to be that sad kid lurking around the punch bowl and pretending to wait for his date to come back from the bathroom. He was worrying too much- Mary was waving him over.

Joseph could hear whispers and giggles from Mary's friends when he caught up. “You're really here with Joseph Christiansen, I can't believe it!” He couldn't tell if they were surprised in a good way or a bad way. “Isn't he a little…uptight for you?” What did that mean? He felt like he wasn't supposed to be listening. 

He really hadn’t told anyone he was going to prom, or who he was going with, but he hadn't really thought it was a big deal. Apparently who you took to prom was very important. So important that Mary and her friends continued talking about it while they walked inside. Was this girl talk? Was he not allowed to be involved in girl talk?

His eyes wandered around the room as he waited for the conversation to end. He spotted a punch bowl, some strange balloon structures, a large crowd of people milling around on the dance floor. Of course, no one really danced usually, not at any high school function. 

Usually, high school dances consisted of at least one girl crying and running out of the school to start next week’s drama, and least one obviously stoned guy trying to pick up chicks and failing miserably, and at least one corner of mopey, depressed outcasts talking about their brooding pasts and how glad they were that ‘that one guy’ didn’t show up. This time it was a little different. 

It was prom after all.

A group of guys who had come without dates were messing around at a table in the corner of the hall, laughing and hitting on girls who walked by without dates. A few girls were gossiping in a circle on the floor, looking awfully casual for their fancy, frilly dresses. 

Didn’t they pay a lot of money for those? Aren’t their parents going to be mad when they come home at midnight with dirt all over their fancy dresses and no prom pictures? Maybe Joseph just didn’t understand prom politics. 

The music playing was too fast for slow dancing, but a few couples were dancing close together. Most of them looked happy, certainly awkward, but happy. Two guys who looked like really close friends were sitting next to the water fountain, looking nervous with their hands close enough to touch between them. 

Joseph couldn't help but stare at the two sitting there in form fitting suits of contrasted color, smiling, not speaking, but looking happy. Joseph was lost in their smiles, they were lost in each other's eyes, and he couldn't remember ever feeling that happy with someone else.

A firm hand from Mary landed on his shoulder and made him turn away from the two boys with a confused look on her face. “You know it's not polite to stare, right?” The two picked up their hands when they realized someone had been staring. “They're trying not to get kicked out, people aren't the most accepting around here.”

A moment of realization washed over him and he nodded, looking back at Mary. He must have looked afraid. “Don't be scared of what you don't understand, Joseph.” Mary looked like her mother for a brief second, all authority and knowledge. It was admirable. 

Joseph wondered sometimes if he would ever end up like his father, a stern voice and a stare that put fear into the eyes of others. He didn’t really want to be that. He shook his mind of the thought, realizing that his eyes were wandering back to the two boys.

One of the boys pressed a quick kiss to the other's cheek when he thought no one was looking. Joseph was looking. Joseph felt something warm and tingly in his chest. “I think I understand, Mary.” There was something magical about that. He wasn't sure his parents would regard the display of affection so kindly.

The two were laughing softly, blush rising to their cheeks as they scooted apart from each other just a little bit again, trying not to arouse suspicion. Man, it sucked that they had to hide and everyone else was allowed to be mushy and gross. Joseph was pretty sure he had seen a guy and a girl making out against a wall when they had come in. 

Mary and Joseph watched just a few seconds longer, a pleasant smile on both of their faces before they made their way to the crowded floor where the music played the loudest. He was reluctant at first to really move, but it only took an upbeat song and Mary's encouragement to get him swaying to the beat just a little. 

They probably looked dumb, they were certainly moving more than everyone else, but a few giggles from Mary and Joseph was moving even more, grabbing her hand and spinning her around while a few people giggled around them. They were holding hands now, swinging their arms a little. 

Bouncing to the high-tempo music was effortless and left them feeling light on their feet. A few couples had joined them and smiled in their direction. Mary twirled her dress around a little and fell back against Joseph's chest, smiling up at him. They laughed again as the song faded out. 

A toothy grin was plastered on Joseph's face as Mary spun back around. “Are you having fun?” Mary only giggled as she shimmied a little more, catching the attention of a few boys around the room. A few of the girls pulled their dates attention away from Mary. Joseph figured that he should probably be jealous too, but he didn’t have time to think about it before he was spinning and Mary was laughing at him. 

He felt a little dizzy, and he was trying not to fall over, but Mary seemed amused. “Are you kidding me, I thought you’d be a straight-laced little church boy!” Mary was yelling over the music, a smirk on her face as Joseph regained his balance. The amount of staring in their direction dropped dramatically as the song they were dancing to faded. “You aren’t too bad, sailor.”

Joseph sighed, clearing his throat softly as the next song started. Gosh, dancing in a crowded room in a slightly-too-big tux was an easy way to get sweaty. “So, is this the part- like in the movies- where I go to get us punch and I come back and you’re with another guy?” Mary pulled another laugh-snort like the one she had earlier, covering her face and looking a little embarrassed.

Joseph starting moving away from the designated dance space and noticed that Mary was following once she collected herself again. “Nah, I don’t think you have to worry about that.” Mary gracefully wiped an attractive sweat mustache from her upper lip. Classy. “But how do I know that I don’t have to worry about you picking up guys at the punch bowl, Jo, I think it’s best if I come with you.”

Joseph sputtered just a little, and he could feel the tips of his ears turning red hot as his blush began to betray him. “Why would I-“ Oh, a joke. Mary gave him a pat on the back as they approached the punch bowl, which was admittedly sad compared to the giant fancy ones you usually saw in the movies. It looked like glorified Kool-Aid, but he still managed to awkwardly scoop enough into a cup to hand to Mary and then one for himself.

The face he saw Mary make when she took the first sip was not promising, but she seemed to get it down. “Is it that bad?” Joseph’s eyes widened as Mary tilted her head back and chugged the rest of it as quickly as possible, slamming the plastic cup back on the table and wiping her mouth. He took a sip and immediately spit it back into the cup he was holding, his tongue stuck out awkwardly as he tried to get the taste out of his mouth. It was worse than Kool-Aid. It was like watered down Kool-Aid with not enough sugar, at least three conflicting flavors, and it was lukewarm. How in the world did Mary keep that down?  
Joseph tried not to gag as he struggled to get the taste off of his tongue. “That’s- it’s really bad.”

Mary was laughing at him again, but she was nice enough to take his cup and casually pour in into the trash while no one was looking. “It’s only tolerable if you chug it all at once, and you take tiny sips, Jo.” Joseph was going to argue until he realized that he did, in fact, take tiny sips. He was still a little amazed by how fast Mary managed to drink hers. 

Somehow, Mary downed another half a cup of the awful drink while Joseph watched with slight disgust, but an abrupt lighting change on the dance floor stole his attention. Mary turned to him, pointing to the dance floor with a mouth full of awful punch that she tried not to spit out. She quickly swallowed before grabbing Joseph by the wrist and tugging him back to the floor. “What exactly are we doing, Mary?” 

“Slow dancing, Joseph, it’s one of those things you have to do at prom.” Joseph noticed the couples around them getting closer, and he awkwardly waited for Mary to drag his hands to her waist where they belonged. It felt strange, to be in such close contact with another person, something other than a hug or a handshake, but everyone here looked awkward. 

Mary, at least, could easily reach his shoulders. Some of the pairs of shorter girls and taller guys were having trouble looking comfortable. One of the jocks was with an especially tiny cheerleader who looked more like she was awkwardly hugging her date than dancing.

Joseph couldn’t really bring himself to look into Mary’s eyes like some couples seemed to be, he instead focused on anything else. The gross punch bowl, people were drinking from it and gagging. The guys leaning on each other by the water fountain, it was sad they couldn’t dance with everyone else comfortably. The bathroom, someone just ran out of it crying. 

They made slow dancing look so romantic in the movies, too. 

Then he was back at Mary, who was smiling up at him awkwardly and occasionally glancing over at her friend who was near them. And Joseph didn’t mind Mary’s company, he didn’t hate the warmth of Mary’s hands on his shoulders, but he didn’t know what to do with himself. So he ended up wishing the song would end sooner.

Joseph would have been okay with just silly, fast dancing all night, and he certainly wasn’t about to kiss Mary any time soon. Instead, he successfully stepped on Mary’s shoe a few times and they got a barrage of dirty looks when they started giggling every time they messed up. 

“Maybe we stick with the fast dancing for now?” Joseph sighed and parted from Mary with a nervous sort of look on his face when the music ended and faded back into something upbeat. 

A mischievous grin found its way to her face as she began moving just a little bit, gaining Joseph’s attention. “I’d love nothing more.”

-xxxxx-

“Hey, loser, leave your back pack, we’re ditching.” Joseph nearly dropped the book he was holding when he looked up from his feet to see Mary standing on his porch, holding something behind her back. She had a pair of high-waisted shorts, a plain white shirt, and an oversized, god-awful jacket with colors that did not mix. Some neon green, pink, purple- a catastrophe. And the material. 

Sometimes Joseph was glad that he wore plain, boring colors. Mary still, however, managed pull it off. 

Mary only continued to smile back at Joseph, who closed the door slowly and kept his back pack on. “Why are we ditching, Mary, I can’t ditch.” Joseph already seemed to be panicking, nervously rolling his bottom lip between his teeth and thinking about what work he would miss, what excuse he could give…what if his parents found out?

A gentle hand was on his shoulder and he let his paranoid thoughts be interrupted briefly. Mary looked concerned. “Whoa there, church boy, don’t malfunction.” Mary sat down the basket that she had been hiding behind her back and pulled out a bottle of water to hand to Joseph. Joseph reluctantly let her take the book from his tight grip. “I’m willing to bet you haven’t skipped a day of school in your life, so one will not hurt.”

Joseph managed to chug half the bottle of water in one go before handing it back to Mary and wiping the condensation that it left on his hands on his khakis. He looked down at the few darker damp spots that he left on his pants and frowned. “I guess you have a point- but where exactly are we going?” Joseph crossed his arms in what looked like an attempt to be intimidating, but Mary just laughed and took his hand anyway when he gave up trying to fight back, leading him in the opposite direction of the school.

He thought Mary would explain to him once they started moving, but she stayed silent, a sly little grin on her face as they walked. Joseph stared over every few seconds waiting for Mary to crack and let him know where they were headed, but instead she kept on staring straight ahead. There was certainly a bounce of impatience in Joseph’s step. “Are we going somewhere we’re not supposed to be?”

Mary stifled a laugh and made a right that took them further away from town. “We’re ditching, we’re not supposed to be anywhere.” She could feel the way that Joseph tensed up with guilt when he heard that. Wow, the kid needed some good old fashion rebellion in his life. “And no, Jo, it’s not illegal or anything.”

Joseph took a deep breath and resituated his back pack, staring at the basket Mary was carrying and mulling over his options in his head. He could turn around now, tell Mary that he needed to go to school and stop breaking the rules, she would probably just laugh and say something like ‘suit yourself, sailor’ and he would trudge into school 5 minutes late with his face flushed red and the equivalent of a slap on the wrist from his teachers.

He could go back home and fake sickness, easily get babied by his parents, safely sleep the day away without the fear of getting into whatever Mary was getting him into, but Mary’s smile was intriguing him more by the second, her excitement rubbing off on him.

So, he could go home, he could rush to class, but did he want to anymore? Joseph Christiansen, 18 year old, good Christian poster boy, pretty eyes, pretty hair, pretty everything. Clean cut, innocent, never-done-anything-wrong-in-his-life Christiansen. Was he allowed to venture further than that?

“Joseph?” Mary squeezed his hand tight to gain back his attention, her eyebrows raised with skepticism at how lost Jo seemed in his thoughts. They had walked father than he thought while he was contemplating his life. Shoot. 

“The forest?” Joseph stared into the mass of trees that they were in front of, then back at Mary. It was intimidating, but surprisingly beautiful, and Mary seemed to know her way around. “Do you come here a lot?” Mary giggled and lead Joseph to a narrow path that wound through the woods, watching him swat flies away and freak out when they got anywhere near his face. 

Joseph almost tripped and fell as they climbed over a fallen tree, and he started spitting everywhere because he got a leaf in his mouth. Mary was just shaking her head as she pulled a few leaves out of her hair, looking out in search of the spot she usually went to. “I come out here when I need to get away from my parents- or my work and shit.” Mary giggled at the little gasp Joseph made when she swore. Such a little church boy. “I come out here a lot, Joseph, I know where we’re going.”

Not very far away, Joseph could see a glimpse of blue, a river maybe? That would be pretty, sitting by the water, wasting the day away…he could see the river now, it was bigger than it looked from afar, and the water was rolling along gently. He jumped a little when Mary dropped the basket a few feet away from the edge of the river. “This is… really pretty, Mary.” Joseph smiled as he looked at the plants scattered along the water, the way the water flowed over and around rocks. It was peaceful.

When Joseph looked back, there was a red blanket laid out and an open picnic basket in the middle, some sandwiches and other snacks that Mary had thrown together. She looked a little happier than normal. “This is the first and last time I willingly make you a sandwich, so you better enjoy it.” Mary snickered and shoved her own sandwich in her mouth, motioning for Joseph to sit down. He did, but he seemed to still be entranced by the water. 

“Is there a reason you brought me here? It seems like a special place to you…” Joseph looked down at his shirt a ran his hands over a few spots in an attempt to smooth out the creases. He had a feeling he was supposed to look nice for some reason. A special occasion? Nevertheless, he started eating his sandwich as well as his gaze switched between Mary and the water. 

Mary shrugged as she took a large swig from her bottle of water, looking down at her half eaten sandwich with a tiny grin that she was trying to hide. “You’re a cool guy, and even though you’re kind of…prude and goody-two-shoes,” Mary was a little red in the face, but she cleared her throat and drank some more water. This guy was so out of her league, he didn’t even want her. “I wanted to get to know you better, away from my parents and school.”

Joseph looked confused for a moment before his face started flushing pink with realization. This was a move from Mary, it was her showing interest. “Oh!” He shifted uncomfortably and tried to look away, but he realized he was probably supposed to reply with something greater than ‘oh.’ His mouth felt a little dry. “You uh- me?” Joseph meant to say something along the lines of, ‘you’re really interested in me?’ but he didn’t really know what to do with that information.

The air was a little tense as silence loomed over them, only the sound of rushing water and birds chirping in the background. Joseph was beginning to wonder if they were supposed to be silent right now. Did that mean something? Was he supposed to do something? He was supposed to do something wasn’t he. His eyes were darting around frantically searching for something when Mary’s hand was on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. That’s what he was supposed to do. Right.

The sudden press of Mary’s lips against his was enough shock to keep his eyes open for a few seconds longer than they were supposed to be, before he realized they were kissing. Because Mary wanted to kiss him. Because they should kiss, right? 

Joseph followed the movement of Mary’s lips with his own for a few seconds before they parted, a dazed and confused look on their faces. (Certainly more-so on Joseph’s) Is that what kissing felt like? It was just a different type of contact, skin against skin, but in a different way. But it was supposed to be intimate, right? It felt more… cold than that. Joseph had no idea what kissing was supposed to be like.

Mary was smiling.

Joseph just nodded.

This was… dating then. Kissing.

Weird.


	2. I'm Gonna Change Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joseph Christiansen knows how to be a rebel. (Joseph Christiansen thinks that he knows how to be a rebel.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter listen to the song: I'm Gonna Change Your Life by The Thermals
> 
> Ah yes, it's the second part of my great masterpiece. This fic is literally my heart and soul.

“C’mon, are you not enough of a rebel, Joey?” Mary had a glint of fire in his eyes as Joseph flinched away from the needle that he personally believed was too close to his eye for comfort. How had Mary convinced him to do this? His dad was going to kill him, it didn’t matter that he was moved out. Mary was supposed to be his path to domesticity and respectable Christian life, not college rebellion and fake IDs. And certainly not getting a black eyebrow piercing and ripped up jeans. His mother would have thrown them into the fire.

“Fuck!” Joseph’s voice rang into the small shop they were in before he immediately covered his mouth and felt the tips of his ears heating up. He took a deep breath as the slight sting of the new piercing in his eyebrow hit him. He saw himself in a small mirror across the way and slowly looked over his own face, bringing his finger up to the barbell that was now in his skin, wincing when he touched it. “Oh my stars, what have you done to me, Mary.”

Mary’s friend Damien had tagged along and was laughing to himself in the corner at Joseph’s apparent surprise. He had only tagged along because Mary wanted another person to come and make sure that Joseph didn’t chicken out, but he was glad he had sacrificed his time to witness that. “Maybe now you’ll finally pull out that stick that your father has shoved so far up your _posterior_.” Damien feigned an old-timey sort of accent and broke out into laughter along with Mary.

Joseph sat up and looked a little dizzy, but he had a small smile curling his lips up slowly. He tried to act like he felt guilty, and maybe he did, but rebellion tasted bitter-sweet. “I think it looks good, Joseph, something other than khakis and good Christian spirit.” Mary was smiling a little too wide, like it was her life’s purpose to lead Joseph into rebellion and this was the first movement forward. “You’re getting there, Christiansen, slowly but surely.” Damien giggled as Mary went on. “Let’s get out of here, we’ve got progress to make.”

Of course, Joseph made sure to thank the guy who had pierced his eyebrow for the sake of peer pressure before following Mary and Damien out of the shop and to Mary’s car, that was just the right thing to do. He was irrationally terrified of what his parents were going to think, even if he was 19 now and two hours away from home while moving into an apartment next to the college nearby. College. Oh boy, that was a storm coming his way. What was he doing in college? He’d figure it out, right?

Mary ruffled his hair and he quickly sprung into real life and away from his intrusive thoughts, staring over at where Mary sat in the driver’s seat. “I’m assuming I can’t convince you to do anything fun with that perfect bleach-blond hair of yours?” Joseph shook his head as he looked at the faint streaks of red that were slowly fading from Mary’s dirty blonde hair. He was not going to do that, or anything of the sort to his hair.

“No, thank you, Mary. I’m perfectly fine with my boring blond hair.” Joseph reached up to touch his hair, as if to assure himself that Mary couldn’t mess with it and it was still there. He was already afraid that Mary was about to slash all of his jeans, though he had to admit he liked the feeling his new ripped jeans gave him. It was something _different,_ it was his own decision, not his parents’ or his fear telling him to stick to what he knew.

“Suit yourself, Sailor, but I’m taking Dames to a friend’s house to dye his hair.” Joseph raised an eyebrow when Mary started giggling, Damien shaking his head in the back seat as they turned a corner on the way to their apartment. “Some asshole called him gay for having a purple streak, so now we’re gonna dye all of it fucking purple.” Joseph sighed and Mary pulled onto the side of the street in front of their building with a smile on her face.

Damien was grinning now too, obviously in on this joke. “Well, I just think that if purple hair really does mean homosexual, then I should be very clear that I am fully committing to purple hair.” Joseph laughed a little at that one, but he was nervously tapping his fingers on the door next to him and becoming acutely aware of the fact that there was no comfortable place for his tongue to rest in his mouth. Hanging out with Mary and her friends was nerve-wracking, he didn’t know what he was supposed to talk about or how much information he was allowed to reveal to second-hand friends that he wasn’t truly acquainted to- and what if he hit a touchy subject? What if he got hungry but was too polite to interrupt and ask for food? What if-

“Jo, cool your jets, I stopped at the apartment for a reason!” Mary unlocked the doors in the car with a click and looked over a Joseph with a sort of knowing smile. He had already put the poor guy through so much rebellious change in one day, he needed a break. “I get it, you can chill here while we go- there’s leftover takeout in the fridge.” Mary laughed as Joseph’s face lit up, his seat belt unbuckling as he let out a long sigh.

The car door swung open too fast for Joseph to hide his apparent relief, but he wanted Mary to know that he was thankful for her mercy. “You are a blessing, Mary.” Joseph stopped half way out of the door to lean over a press a kiss to Mary’s cheek, hoping that that somehow conveyed his gratitude. Mary just rolled her eyes and motioned for Damien to come up and take shotgun. Joseph finally stepped out into the fresh air, noticing how dark it had gotten- it must have been getting late. “Please be safe, call if you stay the night?”

Mary nodded and sent a peace sign Joseph’s way as Damien closed the passenger door, knowing that no matter what Joseph would worry about her while she was gone. He was a kind soul like that. “Deuces, nerd, don’t get into too much trouble.”

Joseph waved as the car sped away and fished through his pocket for the key to their apartment, struggling to shove his hand deep enough into the tight pocket of his jeans to retrieve it. As he scaled the steps to their door, he realized that his stomach was growling. They really had been out for a while, huh? He was tired, but not ready for sleep, even if the soft sheets of his and Mary’s bed looked appealing right now.

Food. Right. How old was that take out in the fridge? Joseph was not ready to be a victim of week old take out- his stomach churned at the thought. Instead, he opened his wallet and stared at its contents. At least 50 bucks, and that could go a long way for crappy filler food, a few old receipts, some of those punch out cards he always forgot when he actually went to a place that used them, and the newest addition, a fake ID, proclaiming him to be 22-year-old Jared Hanson. Was this convincing? It looked real, but did it look real to anyone else?

Joseph turned to look into the full length mirror across the bedroom, staring at himself for a moment. It was weird to see himself looking so different than he had a few months ago, but he thought he was rocking the ripped jeans. His shoes were kind of clunky, and he wished his glasses would go far, far away, but that eyebrow piercing was cool, right? He knew at least a few people who would have to do an open-mouthed double take if they saw him right now.

The piercing kind of hurt, and to be honest, the holes in his jeans were making his legs kind of cold, but he felt so empowered that he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was being an individual, a rebellious college student, and he didn’t have to have a reason for it did he? He just felt good! He was allowed to be whoever he wanted and wear whatever he wanted- even if he kind of wanted to throw on sweatpants and give up for the day. He was going to keep these jeans on and show the world, he was god damn determined.

He took one last glance at himself in the mirror before pocketing his wallet, fake ID enclosed, 50 dollars safe and sound. He was going to go out and he knew just the place. A bar, any bar really, so he didn’t know the place. He knew nothing about bars, actually. All he knew was that his 22-year-old fake ID  alter-ego Jared could get into any bar he wanted to. So once he made sure he had his keys, he threw on an ugly salmon colored jacket over his shirt and locked the door behind him, taking his grumbling stomach out into the world and looking around. Gosh darn, it was cold outside.

There were a few signs with bright lights that had turned on since the last time he was outside, and the small street looked almost pretty with the lighting. (It wasn’t a very attractive street.) There was a café that had earlier in the day closed, one of those weird but cute antique stores that was probably only open on Wednesdays or something, the road to the college campus that wasn’t very far away, a small family diner with a small glowing ‘open’ sign, and all the way at the end of the street was a bar with obnoxious neon light radiating down onto the pavement. That was his fate, right?

No big deal, walk up, show someone his ID, get in, get a beer? One beer wouldn’t get him drunk, right? What would his parents think, their little boy going out and getting drunk underage, oh my stars, he would never hear the end of it. He could do it, though, show himself that he was capable of walking in that bar in his new clothes, with his new piercing, with his 1- _22 year-old_ self. Yeah, he could totally do that.

He could feel the light washing over him as he approached the building, his hands fidgeting in his pockets as he approached the door. His thumb and forefinger grabbed hold of his ID preemptively, and his heart was beating faster than normal without his permission. A few people outside of the bar were staring at him as he made his way to the door, following a crowd of people who looked young, but older than him. Act natural, right? Confidence is key.

A few people in front of him pulled their IDs out and Joseph did the same, getting nothing more than a strange glance before he walked into the bar. And he was in. He was in a bar. That was fine right? He was a year past legal adult. Two years under legal drinker, but he wasn’t not planning on getting wasted anytime soon. Was it morally wrong? Well, not if he shifted his morals. He realized that he had been standing in one place for too long, that he was probably expected to move and sit down somewhere.

A table would be sad, and maybe suspicious. He hadn’t thought about the fact that he was coming in alone, or the fact that he would have to talk to someone to order food or drinks. The end of the bar was fine, right? There was almost no one at the one end, but enough people scattered around that he wouldn’t look alone. He slid into a seat and tapped his fingers on the bar, hoping that the bartender would take a while to notice him.

Joseph heard the door open again, but he didn’t pay attention, more focused on toying with his wallet and rehearsing what to say when he had to order something. The man who walked in sure did pay attention to him, though. If Joseph had the ability to read minds he would know that the man’s exact thoughts were something along the line of ‘ _what is this poor boy doing here._ ’ It was easy to ignore groups of college kids drinking their final exams away, but it was not easy to ignore a scared looking twink of a college student sitting alone at the bar.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Joseph nearly jumped out of his seat when the man jumped into the seat next to him, but he tried to calm himself down. Someone thought he was old enough to be bought a drink, and that counted for something. Was this guy nice, though? Did he want something else? Maybe it was time to abort mission. The man adopted a concerned look onto his face, hoping that he hadn’t intruded on some internal conflict. “Are ya doing okay there, kid?”

Joseph finally looked over at the man, giving him a once over. Or a twice-over. He was a little nervous. The man was easily in his twenties, and a little older than most college students, but he gave off the vibe. He had a leather jacket on that was a little too big, and Joseph could only figure that it was his dad’s. He had messy dark hair, tight-but-not-too-tight jeans, and some nice hands that toyed with the ring on his finger. Ring on his finger. Married. Phew. “Me- I, yeah!”

Joseph’s jittery nervousness thankfully didn’t scare the man away, he just slumped against the bar and motioned the bartender over to where they sat. “What do you want to drink, you look like you deserve one.” Joseph attempted to ask for beer and the man laughed at his cluelessness, and the fact that he didn’t even know what kind of beer he liked. He really was new to the bar scene. “Two shots of whiskey, please.”

Joseph realized that he was being bought alcohol. And that he hadn’t eaten. He wasn’t an expert on how fast people got drunk, but if he knew anything, he knew that drinking on an empty stomach would get him drunk faster than he wanted to be. And he already would get drunk fast if he hadn’t had alcohol before, right? He was going to turn into a train wreck pretty fast. “You don’t have to-“

“Shush, you obviously don’t know what you’re doing, you need a hand.” Joseph stared at the alcohol that was pushed towards him and then back at the man who had bought it. He could have easily said no thank you and went home. And that would be his fate wouldn’t it, being a bad rebel? No, he was going to prove himself. He snapped his head back and downed the shot like he saw in movies, feeling the burn down his throat but ignoring it the best he could. He must have made a weird face, though. “Damn, maybe not as much help as I thought you did.”

“I- yeah, thank you.” The man looked Joseph up and down this time, taking in more than he should have for being a married man. He wasn’t going to make any moves, that was the farthest thing from his mind, but he could appreciate Joseph for what he was. Especially after he took that shot. It was a little sexy. He shook his head and looked back up to where Joseph sat his glass on the table. Joseph could feel the man’s eyes, but he didn’t really care.  He was confident that the guy was loyal to his wife, he seemed like a good man. “What are you doing here?”

The other man’s shot was the next to go, a laugh rising into the air once he swallowed. “Ah- you first, what’s got you in here.” For some reason Joseph figured he wasn’t a man to drink beer often, definitely a shots man. Joseph was also sure that he just witnessed the man order more shots. Wow, he might have been screwed. “And I want the real shit, you look like the most scared, failed attempt of rebellion I’ve ever seen.”

Joseph’s face went a little red, and he tried to avoid talking. He had no idea how long it would take him to start feeling weird on an empty stomach. “I- well…I don’t know what I’m doing.” The man laughed and gave Joseph another shot, muttering something about ‘me too, kid,’ that make Joseph feel a little better. Maybe they were both at a lost point in life. He felt oddly ready to spill his thoughts to stranger, and he knew that wasn’t the alcohol talking yet. “I’m supposed to be going to college, that’s why I’m here, but I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Ah, I get that.” The man looked kind of tired while thinking about that, still sipping on alcohol. “I know I look kind of old for college, but I still don’t know what I’m doing.” There was a story to be told there, and Joseph was determined to uncover it and help, but he realized he was supposed to be getting the help right now. Curse him and his kind, helpful charm.

He didn’t know how to explain without sounding like he hated his parents, but they were a part of the reason that he was so conflicted. “It’s- my parents.” _Whoop, there it is_. “They probably want me to study religion if anything, and I-“ He sighed as he attempted not to delve too far into why he wasn’t sure what to do. That would require insight into his past, and that was a little too personal and complicated. “I just- have other interests.”

A reassuring nod kept Joseph on the right track, encouraging him to keep going on with his story. “I really like helping people,” Joseph’s eyes lit up as he thought about the possibility of becoming a counselor, maybe even still helping with church but in a different way. “I’m thinking about child psychology- or psychology in general,”  The thought….excited him more than he ever thought it would. He could really be a positive force instead of a negative one, offering help and encouragement instead of hate and violent words. “But doesn’t psychology kind of…go against my religion or something?

The man took another shot after taking a deep breath, looking like he was trying to collect his thoughts. What was that, his third shot? Joseph, feeling self-conscious of his drinking ability, downed his second. He hadn’t even realized that there were two more in front of him. The man in front of him cleared his throat and Joseph grabbed his third shot, settling in for an inspirational speech. “You know what? Fuck it, man.”

Joseph grinned back at the statement, but raised an eyebrow, not sure exactly what he meant. He had half a mind to scold the man for dropping an f-bomb.  Joseph sipped a small amount of whiskey and immediately regretted it, making a face before downing the rest. This was dangerous territory wasn’t it, four shots would be too much, right? Whatever, this was fun. “How so?” Was he a little tipsy? Maybe. So many questions. He did, however, refrain from yelling at the man for using the f-swear.

“Just- fuck it, it’s ’a good philosophy.” The man shrugged and looked down at his drink, possibly trying to hide a story, but Joseph was feeling adventurous and he wanted to hear it. His head was swimming a little, a weird disoriented feeling that he wasn’t used to, but he was still fine. The man did, however, snap his fingers at one point to get Joseph’s attention.

Joseph shook his head a little in an attempt to regain his concentration, a smile on his face. “C’mon, there’s more than that, give me the speech.” The man tried to look confused, but Joseph was giving a very knowing gaze, even if he almost fell off his chair when he moved too fast. “I can feel it, you want to give the inspirational speech, hit me with it.” Joseph made a hand gesture that signaled the man to go on.

“I came to college with no fucking idea what I was doing- I had just had a kid and I was trying to get my shit together, and I still am.” He had a determined grin on his face, and he downed another shot, seemingly only slightly buzzed even after Joseph had lost count of the amount of alcohol he had consumed. “But now I’ve got a beautiful 4 year old daughter and a degree in film studies because- movies are cool!” He laughs and slides a tip to the bartender as he pays for his drinks, handing a final shot over to Joseph. “So fuck it, do whatever makes you happy, kid.”

The man cheered softly as Joseph drank down his last shot, the fourth or fifth? He lost track, and he felt weird after what- a half an hour of conversation? Maybe longer? He was still kind of hungry, and he was a little nauseous…woah, a little tired, but he was fine. Totally fine. “Whatever makes me happy?” Joseph chuckled a little, but he had to stop when he felt kind of sick. Bathroom? Good idea. Standing? Nah. The moment he tried to stand he had to hold onto the bar, and he immediately started laughing at himself, quite uncontrollably.

“Yeah- are you okay?” The man stood in front of Joseph, holding out a stabilizing hand just in case he started going down. Did a few shots really hit the guy that hard? Maybe more than a few…but they had been talking, maybe he gave the poor guy too much.

Joseph vaguely registered a hand on his shoulder and he tried to calm himself down to respond, ignoring the look of concern on the face of the man in front of him. “Me? Fine- I’m fine, are you fine?” Joseph attempted to start walking again and had to stop and stabilize himself, almost losing his balance.

The man caught Joseph and made sure to keep him upright, his heart racing just a little faster than normal now that he had a drunk college kid on his hands. “Shit, man, come here.” He swung an arm around Joseph’s shoulder and let the drunken idiot lean against him, even though Joseph was a little taller. “How- is it your first time drinking whiskey?”

Joseph giggled and fell against the other man’s shoulder, not even noticing that he was being led towards the door. “It’s my first time drinking, buddy, and I think I’m doing pretty good- I’m hungry, are you hungry?” Joseph brought a hand to his stomach and thought about food, remembering vaguely that he never did order any at the bar. Man, he could have gone for a burger and some fries, something greasy and gross.

“Shit, your first time drinking?” The man sighed and pressed a hand to his face, hoping that they weren’t attracting attention from anyone else in the bar. “Did you not eat anything?” Joseph’s stomach grumbling and his nauseous-ness let the man know that he hadn’t eaten anything before coming to the bar. What an amateur. “Why did you let me give you that many shots on an empty stomach and your first time drinking?” The man quickly deduced that the kid hanging off of his arm was not used to rebelling- he got the feeling when he mentioned his religious childhood, but that solidified it.

“I wanted to seem cool- and it was free alcohol for me.” Joseph stated this bluntly, apparently losing his verbal filter as the alcohol clouded his judgement. He giggled and nearly ran into the door before the man could open it. Wow, he was having the time of his life. Poor guy wasn’t going to feel so great in the morning.

“Alright- well, I’m Robert.” The man- Robert- gave Joseph a gentle slap on the face to get his attention, and he tried to put on a friendly smile. ”And I’m gonna walk you home so you don’t accidentally kill yourself.” Robert looked out into the dark street, the realization dawning upon him that he had no idea where the kid lived. “Where are we headed to?” Robert was fully aware of how insane they looked at the moment, staring into the darkness in complete silence while waiting for Joseph to remember where his own house was.

Joseph hiccuped and covered his mouth before pointing to his apartment building, thankfully visible down the street. Ugh, he felt kind of gross. He was not going to be happy if he vomited. “Can I lay down?” He looked down at the parking lot underneath him, but it was looking more and more appealing by the second.

Robert sighed and held Joseph up to prevent him from deciding to pass out on the street. He did not put it past anyone that hungry and full of alcohol to spend a night on the pavement. At least his house was close. “Alright, you know where you live, that’s a start.” Could the drunk guy probably make it home without him? With enough effort, yes, but Robert felt like the situation was his responsibility. Hell, he could remember the first time he got drunk, and it wasn’t pretty.

Joseph turned them towards his apartment building once they walked down the street, fumbling for a key in his pocket while they made their way towards an intimidating looking set of stairs. “Yeah, well I know what I’m doing, Bobert- Robert.” Joseph let out an ugly low giggle, pulling his key out and almost dropping it. “Bobert.” Robert looked like he wanted to growl back at that name. The kid was lucky that he was drunk and stupid or Robert would have kicked his ass.

After a thankfully short walk up the stairs, Robert took the key from Joseph and unlocked the door to the apartment to save himself the key fumbling and dropping. Joseph spotted the couch as soon as they walked in and flopped onto it. God, he was going to wake up uncomfortable if he slept there. “Don’t you- you have a bed, right?” Joseph rolled over and buried himself in the couch, cuddling a pillow close to his chest.

“Too far away, time for sleep.” Robert placed the key on the coffee table in front of the couch and found a notepad to scrawl on so that the drunk kid, and anyone who stumbled upon him, would hopefully have a clue what was going on.

Robert headed for the door, not sure if he should disturb Joseph’s drunken dozing on the couch. “Good luck, kid.” A muffled groan full of tired energy was all he needed to know that the kid was alive before he vacated the apartment, laughing softly to himself as he walked down the street.

 

-xxxxx-

 

_Hey- nameless drunk college kid from the bar, ( I just realized I never got your name), sorry for letting you drink yourself half to death, that was pretty shitty. I hope you’re doing alright because the second I got you here you crashed on the couch. Remember, do whatever makes you happy, kid. –Robert_

-xxxxx-

 

“Joseph?” Mary’s voice rang through his ears as he slowly drifted into consciousness, an awful headache hitting him when he tried to sit up. He gave up and eased himself back down to the couch. Mary was holding a piece of paper in her hands and reading it over for a second time, trying to absorb the information. “Who the hell is Robert-“ Mary seemed more amazed than angry. “And did you actually go out last night, alone? I didn’t think you had it in you!”

Joseph groaned and held his head in his hands, kicking his uncomfortable jeans off after a night of sleeping in them. He could feel Mary’s eyes on his as she laughed. He looked like a mess, hair ruffled, shirt hiked up above his stomach, jeans now around his ankles. “Robert…?” Joseph had to search his mind for memories of the past night. Handsome, nice guy from the bar. “Oh! He bought me drinks last night and gave me life advice, nice guy.” Joseph buried his head in the pillow in front of him, hoping that Mary was done interrogating him.

Mary handed the note to Joseph and waited for him to turn his face away from the pillow. “Huh…was he cute?” Joseph groaned again and reached out to grab the paper, looking over it quickly with a pained smile on his face. He couldn’t seem to make the smile go away either for some reason.

“He was attractive by conventional standards.” Mary scoffed at the prim and proper way that Joseph had to put it. Joseph caught himself admitting that the man had been attractive. He needed to go back to sleep.  “He was also married- why are you asking?”

“Nothing, Jo, get some sleep.” Mary giggled as she walked out of the room, heading towards the kitchen. God bless her soul, she was making breakfast. Joseph stared back at the note before setting it on the table again.

_Do whatever makes you happy, kid._

Those words of wisdom would stick with him. Whatever made him happy. He had a few ideas.


	3. Nothing Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ain't nothing like a college 21st birthday to give you the scare of your life.
> 
> In which Joseph makes an impulse desicion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see! For this chapter listen to Nothing Better by The Postal Service!

Twenty-one. Oh gosh- 21 was the age of real adulthood. On the 18th birthday, yes, Joseph was an adult, but the 21st birthday meant that he was finally viewed as a responsible adult. He wasn’t sure if any junior in college was a responsible adult, but his parents sure thought he was. He had toned it down from freshman year, no more edgy black eyebrow piercing and torn jeans, and he forced himself to wear his glasses more often.

Mary said that they made him look like a dork, but she always pressed a kiss to his cheek right after and said that they made him look like a dork in a good way. She also said that he was allowed to look like a dork when he took psychology classes. (Though Joseph knew that she secretly found it interesting as well.) Joseph could always retaliate by asking what kind of nerd willingly takes an accounting class.

But all in all, college was good. It was structure and progress towards a stable future, even if he didn’t know where that future would end up being. All good things, focused on education, no more drunk outings.

Until the 21st birthday. 

“C’mon, Joseph, it’s your 21st birthday, we’re legal drinkers!” Mary pulled out her real ID flaunting the birthdate that meant she had been 21 for a few months now. “Everyone deserves birthday shots, and you won’t get screwed up, just tipsy.” Joseph remembered the first time he was drunk, how awful he felt in the morning, but Mary looked so enthused about it, and Joseph wanted to see her happy after how stressed she had seemed lately.

So a few birthday shots wouldn’t hurt.

“You promise?” Joseph looked over to where Mary sat on the couch, a look on his face that crossed between fear and excitement. Maybe it would be a fun birthday celebration! He could invite some of the people he had met in college out for a drink, Mary would bring Damien and- it could be the first birthday in a while that he had a real celebration for. It could be something good.

Mary grinned when she saw the smile forming on Joseph’s face, knowing that he was thinking about the fun they could have. “Yes, I promise I’ll only buy you one birthday shot- but whatever you do after that is out of my control.” In reality, Mary was hoping to see a completely shitfaced Joseph stumble around like an idiot as she did on her 21st birthday, but she would keep her word. She would not, however, stop the supportive strangers who wanted to buy him birthday shots as well.

Joseph nodded, mulling it over in his head before shoving his wallet in his pocket and standing up. “Alright.” He sounded defeated, but Mary’s face lit up. “But you have to make Damien promise to get us home safe when we do both get wasted- I’m not optimistic about this.” Mary laughed and grabbed Joseph’s hand before he could change his mind, dragging him out of the apartment with a spring in her step.

-xxxxx-

The same fast, thrumming heart beat from the first time he snuck into the bar was back the second they approached the door, even if he was legally allowed in this time. He hadn’t been back since then, and he was sure that the change in clothes would render him unrecognizable, but the fear still rested in the back of his mind. Mary slowed before they got to the building. “You doing okay, Joey? We can just go buy a bottle of wine and chill out for the night if that’s more your speed.”

Mary did look genuinely concerned, but Joseph did want to have a real celebration, and they had already come this far. “No, let’s do this, I’m ready for that birthday shot.” Joseph was tugging Mary towards the entrance now, and she laughed as they walked into the bar. Only Joseph would almost turn down going to the bar and then gain buckets of enthusiasm at the last minute. At least he was letting a little loose for his birthday. When he took the stick out of his ass, he could be a fun guy to hang out with. (According to Mary.)

“So- what are we thinking, because fireball is just a tradition, no matter how gross it is- but straight whiskey is an option, or maybe you’re feeling fancy, there is a shot called the blowjob and I mean-“ Mary laughed and poked Josephs cheek , noticing the tinge of red rising in it as they walked into the bar. “You’re 21 and you still blush at the word blowjob, aren’t you precious?” The bar was crowded, but they spotted two seats at the bar that were open and settled.

Joseph took off his coat and folded it nicely before promptly throwing it on the floor when he realized there was nowhere else to put it. “I will-“ Mary grinned and looked over at him with an excited look in her eyes. “Just regular whiskey, for now, Mary.” She made an exaggerated pout and crossed her arms, but she motioned the bartender over all the same.

Joseph gave her a harsh glare when she was about to open her mouth, a glare that said ‘please do not make a public announcement to this bar that it’s my birthday.’ The bartender asked what he could get her, and she made a point to speak louder. “I need a shot of whiskey for my birthday boy over here.” Joseph held his face in his hands and groaned, knowing that he was going to get that unwanted attention that one always gets when their birthday is known. At least here he didn’t have to worry about waiters singing him happy birthday while trying to give him free dessert. “And one for me, too.”

An obviously intoxicated man stumbled over to where they were sitting, an awful smell of cheap beer on his breath and a look of surprise and happiness on his face. “It’s your birthday? Dude, I’m buying you a shot too!” Joseph recognized the guy as a fellow student in his psychology class and thought it rude to deny the offer, so he smiled and thanked the guy while two shots came his way. “You have a good time tonight, man, alright?”

Joseph nodded and threw back a shot while the guy cheered, hands in the air and everything. He was a very enthusiastic drunk and it made Joseph let out a chuckle. “Yeah, I will, I’ll have a great time.” The look in Joseph’s eyes scared Mary a little.

-xxxxx-

“Honey, do you think that uh- do you think it’s weird that I think that guy over there has a nice butt?” Mary broke out into snorting laughter, watching Joseph squint at some random guy’s ass across the room. She was a little too drunk to process the room around her, but she was loving drunk Joseph. “You’re laughing at me, Mary, I need to know!”

Joseph was downing another shot before he looked over to Mary, a dopey smile on his face that he couldn’t seem to wipe off. He had almost fallen off of his barstool a few times in the past hour. He had a serious look on his face as he interrogated Mary about his gay thoughts. “Nah, he’s got a really nice ass, Joey, I’m appreciating it with you.” They both laughed and Joseph fell against Mary’s, the vibrations from each other’s laughter only setting them off more before they calmed down. “Where’s Damien?”

They both looked around the bar, but Joseph was offered another drink on the house and he sipped it with a smile. “I don’t know, but I’m having a fantastic time, I’m glad you made me come out tonight.” He felt light and a little clouded in his thoughts, but Mary had a smile on her face too. It came naturally as they leaned in, lips meeting in the middle and moving slowly, softly. The fog in Joseph’s head lifted just a little, and all he could focus on was Mary. They sat there grinning, both dazed from the kiss.

Joseph still didn’t feel any sparks, he had figured they were a myth anyway, but Mary’s hand found its way to his shoulder and he felt calm, kind of safe. It was a nice feeling all the same. He nearly fell again. Wow, they were drunk as hell. Neither of them noticed Damien behind them until he was confiscating their drinks and setting them on the counter. “Hey, c’mon, Dames! Iwasdrinkingthat!” Mary pouted as Damien took the drinks and helped them off their chairs with a sigh.

Damien linked arms with both of them and led them towards the door, trying not to laugh. “I think you two are done, you’re very intoxicated and I’m not going to be responsible for your alcohol poisoning.” Joseph tripped over his own feet and insisted that he was fine. As they left, Joseph stopped, firmly planting himself the best that he could. “Damien! My jacket is still in there!” Damien rolled his eyes, and asked himself why he agreed to deal with two drunk people while stone cold sober. He almost left the jacket, but Joseph wouldn’t stop frowning. “I will get it- but you two stay right here.”

Mary and Joseph sat against the wall and looked like a couple of grumpy kids that Damien was being forced to babysit. (They were.) But Mary eventually opened her mouth. “When we get home, do you wanna make nachos?” She laughed and leaned her head on Joseph’s shoulder, feeling kind of heavy, but not quite tired.

“We don’t even have any chips.” Joseph looked around the street, getting distracted by the sign that shone in front of the bar.

Mary went on about pouring nacho cheese into her mouth and Joseph seriously considered it, but then Damien came back out and threw the jacket at Joseph before telling them to get up. Joseph held onto his jacket and rolled his eyes. “Alright, let’s get you guys home.” Damien shook his head as Joseph neglected to even put the jacket on, just tying it over his shoulders in his drunken state. “Come on, Mary told me she would take away my books if I don’t get you home and I’m in middle of a very good novel, Jo-“

“Oh- I’m sorry.” Joseph slurred as he stood up anyway, wobbling a little and having to hold on to Mary’s shoulder. “Is today your birthday?” Joseph grinned, following Damien even while fighting him weakly. “Because it’s my fucking birthday, Damien.” Mary laughed and held onto his shoulder, stumbling alongside her boyfriend and slowly moving towards their apartment.

“Yes, Joseph it is your birthday.” Joseph looked very satisfied with himself, not detecting even the slightest hint of sarcasm in his drunken state. Damien was very thankful that it would take barely any time to get these idiots home. He was especially thankful that he would not have to experience the awful hangovers that they would in the morning. And considering that the stairs to their apartment were giving them trouble, those hangovers would be pretty awful. “Are you guys good?”

Joseph gasped at his success when he unlocked the door on his first try, giving a thumbs up to Damien before slipping inside. Mary just nodded and giggled before following, and Damien nodded back before the door slammed shut. Those poor, lost, souls.

-xxxxx-

“Joseph, did you know- you” Mary was laughing, she had been since they landed on the sofa together, Josephs arm around her shoulder. “You’re pretty cute, Joey.”

Joseph giggled, leaning back on the couch and further away from Mary. “You’re just saying that because it’s my birthday.” Joseph was caught by surprise when Mary swung herself onto his lap, staring him straight in the eye. Tension blossomed into the room quickly, but drunken smiles and laughing kept it at bay.

“Nah, I always think so, I’m just telling you because it’s your birthday.” Mary pressed a kiss to his cheek and reached down to unbutton her shirt, her breath still smelling of alcohol when her breath found its way to Joseph’s nose. “And maybe you deserve a birthday present.” Mary giggled again, and Joseph giggled back, letting Mary pull his shirt over his head.

“Well, I guess you do owe me a present, right?” Joseph could not wipe the stupid grin off his face, pulling Mary in for a kiss and trying to find the right place to hold her hips.

Mary pulled away for just a moment to shrug, clumsily working open the button on Joseph’s pants while she nodded. “Happy birthday.” Neither of them could remember much after the next kiss.

-xxxxx-

“Shit.” The second that Joseph came to consciousness, he felt his head splitting. Just as bad as last time, maybe worse. He wondered if it was always this bad or if he just needed better technique. He opened his eyes and immediately felt regret, groaning as he tried to get up to go to the bathroom but was met with resistance. He realized that Mary was on top of him- her hair a mess and her makeup smeared, but she at least looked peaceful in her sleep. Her skin reflected sunlight in a beautiful way that hurt Joseph’s eyes and-

Her skin. She wasn’t wearing a shirt. Joseph wasn’t wearing a shirt.

Joseph looked down at the blanket that was covering them from the waist down and crossed his fingers, hoping that somehow, even when he could feel the heat of skin against skin, they still had a layer of clothing on. But a quick peek under the blanket revealed that, no, they were completely naked and splayed out on this couch. And Joseph couldn’t even remember what last night felt like.

Mary stirred, and Joseph could pinpoint the exact moment she woke up, her face sinking into his chest as she groaned loudly. “What the hell did we do last night?” She shifted a little and winced, sitting up and pulling away the blanket they had been using so she could cover herself. Joseph grabbed a throw pillow to quickly replace where the blanket had been for himself. Mary attempted to stand up and make that face as if she was in pain again, her legs a little wobbly. “I know what we did last night.” She stated plainly.

She wrapped the blanket around herself and shuffled her way to the bathroom, leaving Joseph to stare blankly on the couch. “Are- are you alright?” He tried to focus, even thought about going after her, but his head was spinning. They hadn’t used any protection, no condom or wrapper in sight. They weren’t even married! God if his parents heard a peep about this- what if Mary was pregnant! They weren’t ready for a baby, weren’t supposed to have one until they were happily married with their white picket fence and weekly Sunday church clothes.

A baby? They were in college! Mary would have to stop drinking, Joseph would have to check on her all the time, make sure she was okay. What if they had to drop out? How would they make money? Would his parents be mad? What if Mary became one of those whiny pregnant women who yelled at him and made him rub her feet!  
Quick, Joseph, think.

Aha.

Joseph lifted himself from the couch and ran to their bedroom, searching his bedside drawer for a tiny key. He didn’t bother getting dressed, not if he wanted to find it before Mary was done in the bathroom. He ended up throwing a few things on the floor- ironically a condom in that mix- and retrieved a silver key. He scrambled for a locked box on top of his dresser. Just as he popped it open he heard a painful noise.

“Fuck, ow!” Mary was muffled through the wall, but Joseph could hear that she was in pain.

Joseph knocked lightly on the bathroom door, speaking cautiously. Mary bit her lip until she finished doing her business. “Honey, uh- are you okay?”

“No one told me it would fucking- burn to pee!” Joseph winced at the thought of that, guilty that he had most likely been the one to cause that pain. Mary’s head was still throbbing, and Joseph was ignoring the way that the light streaming through the window made his eyes want to close forever. He reached into the box he had opened and pulled out a ring, not just any ring, his grandmother’s wedding ring. The one his mom has given him to propose with.

That ring was supposed to hold off on its appearance for another few years, at least until they graduated college, but he stared at it and shrugged. Was there really any better time? The answer was yes. Multiple better times. Any time but this time. But Joseph heard the toilet flush and let the box slam shut, toying with the ring in his hand.

A wave of butterflies hit his stomach, and that meant this was the right thing to do, right? That he was nervous meant he was in love, and that he was in love meant he should get married. Yeah. That’s what his parents told him. All about those butterflies.

When Mary opened the bathroom door she had the blanket slung over her shoulder, barely covering anything, and Joseph put on a nervous smile, one hand still holding a pillow in front of himself and one holding the ring behind his back. She didn’t seem to expect him there, but she didn’t make an effort to cover herself. “What are you doing?” She stretched a little and crossed her arms, an eyebrow arched.

Joseph cleared his throat. “I um-“ he almost let go of the pillow and had to catch it, a nervous gulp catching in his throat. “Mary, you are- I…” Mary looked at him like he was wearing a neon tracksuit. The current situation may have been stranger. “Well it’s been a few years- and since uh, last night-“ Joseph sunk to his knee as gracefully as he could, and Mary covered her face. Not because she was about to cry and needed to compose herself, but because she wasn’t ready to believe what Joseph was doing.

“Joey- are you really…” Mary did have a ping of excitement in her gut, her stomach fluttering when Joseph almost dropped his pillow again but repositioned himself so that he could hold out the ring. He was rambling, he was going off on speech about love and how Mary was perfect, exactly what he had been told to search for. He even laughed and seemed to get sentimental. He remembered the picture of them before prom, the picnic on the day they skipped school- he almost got a tear in his eye.

Mary was smiling then, her hand on her heart, and Joseph had somehow turned their hangover morning into a romantic moment. “I have a feeling I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Joseph grinned, he knew that statement was true. God, life with Mary was so fun. He always wanted to have her in his life. “What I’m trying to say is- will you marry me?” In that moment, it was almost beautiful, if you looked past the reason for their unclothed bodies. They looked like a regular Adam and Eve, something elegant and biblical.

Mary closed the space between her and Joseph, pulling him up from the ground and landing a nice, long kiss on his lips, laughing while she did. One of those annoying smooch noises resulted when they pulled apart. “You’re really asking me right now, while naked and hungover and-“ Mary laughs, making a show of shifting her weight and wincing. “In pain.” She pulls him in for another kiss.

Joseph smiled against her lips and broke away again, looking a little uncomfortable. “So is- is that a yes?” Mary gave him a glare, crossing her arms. “Because I’ve really gotta pee and-“” Mary rolled her eyes and playfully slapped his face.

“Yes, Joseph, yes.”

Joseph resisted the urge to stick around and celebrate, dropping his pillow and darting for the bathroom. Mary just smiled and shook her head. It was so like them, weird and unconventional. That was the best thing about Joseph; you could never forget him.

-xxxxx-

The phone was ringing for a long while before anyone picked up, but Joseph and Mary were practically bouncing up and down while waiting. They slept for a while to get rid of their awful headaches, so they hadn’t told anyone. They were ringing Mary’s parents with their faces pressed together next to the receiver. “Hello?” Mary’s mom answered, her voice sounding confused. She most likely hadn’t been expecting a call.

Mary grinned and looked over at Joseph, nudging him with her elbow. “Hey mom, I’m here with Joseph.” She giggled when Joseph slung an arm around her shoulder. She was riding a giddy, high feeling and she didn’t even quite understand why. She knew her mom would be happy, though. “We have some news!”

“Oh, Mary, is everything alright?”

“More than alright, mom it’s-“ Joseph was grinning now too. He wasn’t sure what to feel, but it was making Mary so happy. He loved seeing Mary happy. “It happened so fast- and I wasn’t expecting it- but me and Joey are getting married!” Joseph felt his face start to flush when he remembered why he had the thought of proposing, but he assumed Mary was not going to tell her mother that.

A gasp was heard on the other end of the phone, and Mary was beaming at the thought of her mother being so proud of her. Joseph knew he was doing something right because that smile she had on made him feel like a thousand bucks. He did that. “Oh, Mary, sweetie, that’s great!”

Joseph gave Mary a kiss on the cheek and held her hand, dragging his thumb over the ring she had put on her finger. This was right. This is what his parents wanted too, they would be so proud. 

“I know! And the ring is so pretty it's his grandmother's- I didn't even know that he was keeping it for me! Mom, he's so sweet we're going to have to plan a wedding, think about kids after college- oh my gosh, mom-"

Joseph found himself zoning out a little, Mary's words to her mother fading from his attention. All of those things sounded so extreme, so important. He hoped Mary meant far in the future, especially for kids. Unless she was pregnant right now, Joseph had almost forgot about that. God, it was all coming so fast.

He took a deep breath and calmed himself, glad that Mary was preoccupied with the phone. Mary. Lovely, amazing, too good for him Mary. He really did love her, he just didn't know how. Sometimes he wished they were just roommates, but he figured they would have ended up together anyhow. Something like fate.

But this was good, it was fine. This, Joseph reminded himself, was what people were meant to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're still enjoying it!

**Author's Note:**

> "Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better, than making you my bride and slowly growing old together."


End file.
